So I figured I would have a nice quiet night at home and eat a healthy salad for dinner. Here's how my well laid plans literally went up in flames around me this evening...
1. Make salad. Healthy leafy greens. Me: "Gee, this will be a nice healthy dinner. I should do this more often! Hmmm. Fresh croutons...gee that sounds great. Where is that loaf of bread anyway?"
2. Cut croutons from loaf of bread
3. Place croutons in toaster oven under broiler
4. Completely forget about croutons
5. Wander out of kitchen to sort mail
6. Remember croutons
7. Run like a crazy person across house towards kitchen
8. Enter smoke filled kitchen
10. Grab potholders
11. Throw back door open
12. Remove charred/flaming/smoking used to be croutons from toaster oven and place them outside to continue to smolder
13. Realize that smoke detector is about to go off
14. Close door so cats do not run away forever when smoke detector starts
15. Race towards hall closet for broom (cannot reach smoke detector)
16. Smoke detector goes off
17. Smoke detector then sets off the house alarm
18. Push button on smoke detector to stop screeching sound (i.e. slam broom end into smoke detector)
19. Jump off chair and run to alarm pad to turn off alarm
20. Phone is ringing (alarm company) so run back to kitchen to get phone and tell them all is ok
21. Miss call from alarm company because phone not on charger. Where is phone?!?
23. Run upstairs and find cell phone instead (pass two terrified cats on the way)
24. Call alarm company
25. Alarm lady: "Hello Ms. Wisbrun, we have dispatched the fire department to your residence."
26. Me: "Ummmm.... You can cancel that call. I just burned some croutons."
27. Alarm lady: "Pardon? So you do not require the fire department?"
28. Me: "No ma'am. So sorry for the trouble. All is well here. Thank you for your help."
29. No longer hungry. Stupid salad.
30. Head to kitchen. Where is the gin and tonic instead? I'll just have that for dinner and enjoy the burned toast smell that has permeated every room in my house.
Hope you are having a wonderful, crouton-less evening where you are! :)